-----
drugster.com - calling the unix support
-----

Customer:        What is the command that will tell me the revision code of
                 a program?
UNIX Consultant: Yes, that's correct.
Customer:        No, what is it ?
UNIX Consultant: Yes.
Customer:        So, which is the one?
UNIX Consultant: No. 'which' is used to find the program.
Customer:        Stop this. Who are you?
UNIX Consultant: Use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'. You can also 'finger yoo'
                 to get information about 'yoo'.
Customer:        All I want to know is what finds the revision code?
UNIX Consultant: Use 'what'.
Customer:        That's what I am trying to find out. Isn't that true?
UNIX Consultant: No. 'true' gives you 0.
Customer:        Which one?
UNIX Consultant: 'true' gives you 0. 'which program-name'
Customer:        Let's get back to my problem. What program? How do I find
it?
UNIX Consultant: Type 'find / -name it -print' to find 'it'. Type 'what
                 program' to get the revision code.
Customer:        I want to find the revision code.
UNIX Consultant: You can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.
Customer:        Which command will do what I need?
UNIX Consultant: No. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Customer:        I think I understand. Let me write that.
UNIX Consultant: You can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your
system.
Customer:        Write what?
UNIX Consultant: No. 'write that'. 'what program'.
Customer:        Cut that out!
UNIX Consultant: Yes. those are valid files for 'cut'. Don't forget the
                 options.
Customer:        Do you always do this ?
UNIX Consultant: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Customer:        HELP!
UNIX Consultant: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System
\(SCCS\).
Customer:        You make me angry.
UNIX Consultant: No, I don't 'make me' angry but I did 'make program-name'
                 when I was upset once.
Customer:        I don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX Consultant: No 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. Every system
                 has 'more'.
Customer:        Nice help! I'm confused more now!
UNIX Consultant: Understand that since 'help' is such a small program,
                 it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not
                 allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file
                 name.
Customer:        This is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX Consultant: I didn't know you needed help with 'pc'. Let me get you
                 to the Pascal compiler team.