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drugster.com men's guide to the twelve secrets of romance
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A Quick Guide for Guys

Following are Twelve Simple Secrets that you should know about her. When you're done reading them
you'll have a better grip on what to do to make her smile a little brighter.

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Secret #1
Romance is the key to sex
Romance is routine maintenance--yeah, like your car­­to keep things running smoothly. Remember
all those romantic things you did to win her in the first place? Keep doing them now and then.
If you let her know often that you care, she stays open and responsive to your sexual overtures.

Romance is all the little things you do to let her know you care. Call her just to say hi. Buy
her a gift "just because." (Remember, it isn't the cost of the gift, it's the thought.)
And flowers, even the smallest bouquet, always work. How about mailing a card or leaving a note
where she'll find it? Or planning a special outing, or arranging for a baby-sitter so you can
take her to the movies? Anything that lets her know you've been thinking about her melts her
heart. For her, romance and sex go hand-in-hand. If you want more sex, give her more romance.

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Secret #2
For her, sex takes time
Okay, your romantic efforts have paid off and she's in the mood for sex. When asked what sex
advice they'd give to men, women almost always say, "Tell them to SLOW DOWN!"

Think of sex as a slow, sensuous dance. Be gentle, seductive. (Rent the movie Don Juan deMarco
and listen to how he talks about women and making love.) Explore her entire body. You both may
be surprised what you find. Hold her like you never want to let her go. And give her lots of
long, slow kisses. (Women often complain that men don't kiss enough.)

What you're doing is warming her up. You wouldn't take a Ferrari that's been sitting in your
garage for a week, start it, and immediately run it up to 100 mph, would you? Well, think of
her as a Ferrari.

Oh, and don't roll over and fall asleep immediately after sex. Women really hate this; they
need to be held and they love a little pillow talk afterward, so stay awake for at least a
few minutes. Then better yet, fall asleep holding her.

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Secret #3
Talking is the way she connects with you
Women talk for the sheer pleasure of talking. It's how they connect to people. Because your
woman has read this book she understands that a lot of what she talks about­­all those little
details­­is boring to you. So, she's going to be more selective about what she says to you.
But if you give her your full attention when she does talk to you, it becomes one of those
romantic gestures. Got it?

And you know how she's always trying to get you to be "more intimate"? If you listen to her
more, she'll think you are being more intimate. All you have to do is look at her and pay
attention; she'll think she's died and gone to heaven. It's that important to her, and that
simple.

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Secret #4
She needs to hear you say you care
For her to really feel your love, you need to tell her in words. Of course, she wants to hear
you say "I love you," but anything you say to let her know you care and appreciate her will
earn you major points: "You're wonderful, do you know that?" "I'm so lucky to have you."
"Do you know how much I love you?" Big points on that one. Whenever you say these things,
look into her eyes and mean it. Remember this, you cannot tell her you love her too often.
This definitely wins you points on the romance chart.

And, how often have you heard one of your buddies, who's gotten a divorce, say, "I never
realized how much she did to make my life comfortable."

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Secret #5
She needs to hear she's attractive
In today's culture, because of what they are taught as girls, and because of what they read
in magazines and see on TV and in films, women get insecure about how they look and whether
they're sexually appealing. So, tell her regularly­­and let her know you mean it­­that she's
beautiful and sexy.

Compliment her on a new dress, the color she's wearing, or how her hair looks. Tell her she
has soft skin, how much she turns you on, how pretty her breasts are. The more beautiful she
feels, the sexier she'll feel. This should pay off big time in the bedroom.

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Secret #6
Her feelings need to be honored
Her feelings are as important to her as your work (or maybe sports) is to you. That's why she
likes to talk about them. She needs you to acknowledge what's going on for her when she's being
emotional. Don't try to tell her that what she's feeling is "wrong" and don't try to fix the
problem unless she asks you to. And never tell her "not to feel" her emotions. A sure-fire
winner: ask her, "What are you feeling?" Then sit down and listen.

She understands that you get kind of uncomfortable when she's being emotional, but if you just
let her express herself and listen with your full attention, she'll think you're the most
sensitive man on the planet.

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Secret #7
Making up is hard to do
When you fight with your partner, are you often surprised that it turned into a bigger event than
it should have? If she's like most women, she tends to get going with her emotions and lets
everything spill out. She doesn't mean a lot of what she says. Do your best to pay attention,
let her vent, but don't let the words get to you. The best way to stop her in her tracks is to
admit that you were being stubborn, insensitive, inconsiderate, and hurtful. The more
conciliatory you are, the more she'll be stopped in her tracks. If you make the first move to
make up and offer no resistance, she can't keep fighting with you. Someone has to take charge so
it doesn't escalate, and because she's lost in her emotions, it's going to have to be you. Be
willing to look at her complaint and see where you may have been insensitive to her needs.

If you both vow to never go to bed mad, you'll be a making love instead of war.

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Secret #8
She likes to be pampered
Your woman naturally does for others. She appreciates the value of nurturing but all too often
doesn't take the time to care for herself. You can score big time if once in a while you run a
bubble bath for her, take her on a special trip or plan a romantic dinner, give her a gift
certificate from her favorite shop or a trip to a day spa. Talk about getting a woman "in the
mood." Wahoo!

Sure, she appreciates that you change the oil in her car, but it doesn't really tell her you love
her, even though that may be what you mean. To pamper her just remember, personal luxuries.

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Secret #9
She needs your respect
Throughout history, and in many cultures even today, women have been second-class citizens, looked
down on as less able in every category. Only recently have we begun to consider women worthy of
respect. To be the open, loving woman you want, she needs you to honor her as a person and
appreciate her contributions as a capable person. Don't treat her as a child. Don't judge or
criticize her. Don't ignore her or take her for granted. Don't be rude. Treat her like a lady at
all times and she'll treat you with the respect that you expect and enjoy.

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Secret #10
She needs to feel secure
Your lady has a deep biological need to feel secure, to have a man provide for her and protect her.
Financial security is obviously important, but even more than that, she needs to know you're there
for her. That's one of the reasons she needs to hear you say "I love you."

What really helps is to give her ongoing affection and the reassurance of physical contact. If you
do this every day, several times a day, you'll give her the security she needs. Hold her hand, put
your arm around her, hug her, touch her in gentle and reassuring ways. The more secure she feels,
the happier she'll be. When she's happy, she's open to you.

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Secret #11
She needs your time and attention
Does she ever try to talk to you when you're reading the newspaper? Or walk in front of the TV in
the middle of the play-offs? Does she complain that she never sees you, never has time to talk
with you, or that you don't even know she's alive? If so, it's a plea for your attention. She
knows how focused you can be when you're working, but she feels left out. It's part of that
security thing.

What to do? Set aside time now and then to focus on her. Let her know she's important enough to
devote yourself to her completely and she'll be less likely to feel ignored. The rewards will far
outweigh the effort.

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Secret #12
She wants a man who makes her feel like a woman
She chose you because of your masculine qualities. Qualities that make her feel more womanly. In
your presence, she feels protected, provided for, and loved. Be masculine, but do it with
sensuality and sensitivity. Be hungry for her, be passionate, be strong, but be tender, as if she
were a delicate flower. And, yes, open the car door for her, carry heavy things for her, pull out
her chair. The feminist movement did a lot of damage to romance but if your woman has been reading
this book, she's not into feminism, she's into love and romance. That means you. Be chivalrous, be
gallant, be thoughtful, and win her heart...over and over again.

Make her feel beautiful, make her feel desirable, make her feel special and important, and you'll
make her feel like a woman­­as only a man can do.

Yes, It's That Simple!

So there it is in a nutshell. Twelve Simple Secrets that could very well change your life forever.
You can never know for sure what's going on with a woman, but you can certainly make everything a
lot nicer, for both of you, by following the advice you've just read.

Men complain that women nag, criticize, try to change them, are never satisfied, are too emotional
and unpredictable. If you follow these Secrets and make them a habit, that irritating behavior
should pretty much disappear. If it comes back, consider it a barometer of how you're doing.
Then get the Secrets out and read them again.

The way to be a great lover is to be a romantic lover. When you focus on romance, she'll respond
to you like never before. And she'll feel like she's the luckiest woman alive.

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